Saturday, February 7, 2009

You Know You Are A Fan If....


...the value of your car doubles every time you fill the gas tank!

…you buy a soda and immediately start calculating how much money you would have in 30 years if you had put that $1.00 into a Roth IRA.

…you walk around with money in your wallet.

…you see a guy driving a 15 year old car and you think, I wonder if he would sell it to me know 15 different recipes for rice and beans.

…the voice in your head now has a southern accent, and you are from the Northeast, from listening to DR so much throughout the day!

…you discover that you have a Little Dave in your head.

...someone says you are weird, and you say 'thank you!'

...the alarm on your watch reminds you to balance your checkbook....every day.

…you only have pity for someone when you observe the latest vehicle purchase, furniture purchase, house rehab, ... made in effort to keep up with the joneses.

…you had 4 very successful yards sales and you can still find things to sell.

…the bumper sticker on the back of your car reads: "My other car actually has a hood!"

…your automatic response to the phrase "Mom, I want..." is "Save up!" count late fees from the library as an addition to your debt snowball. call your spouse excitedly to tell him/her you have saved up enough in the emergency account to get old junker worked on (including replacing the windshield wipers).

…it pains you to pull out your credit card and you hear Dave's voice telling you, "Does it look like I have stupid on my forehead?."

…you start using your unsolicited credit applications as tinder for your fireplace.

…you respond "better than I deserve" every time someone asks you how you're doing.

…you start a sentence with "Well, Dave says..." and your friends just roll their eyes and walk away.

…the guy who works at Quik-Trip makes fun of you for putting cash your QT Gas Card every week instead of just using your debit card.

…someone looks at you weird when you tell them you ONLY pay cash and actually GET cash out of the bank every payday.

…you see someone in a BMW, and think "moron is fleecing it I bet".

…you scrape the soap scum off of the side of your tub to make a "new" bar.

…your wife makes you take off your socks; but not your orange wristband!

…you walk down a row of cars at the mall and wonder how many might be paid for.

…your teenagers ask if Dave will let us get take-out pizza on the week-end, and our reply is Dave would want us to make home made pizza instead.

…you count out the slices of ham to see if they will last the
week's lunches.

…you make your kid's grilled cheese sandwich with only 1/2 a slice of cheese. say, "Because Dave said so," every time your kids ask why they have to eat beans and rice again.

…an acquaintance calls your house and asks to speak with your husband Dave.

…you scream, "NO!" in the checkout line after seeing someone pull out their credit card to pay for their groceries.

…grandma asks you what Johnny wants for his birthday/Christmas and you reply, "Actually, any donation amount to his ESP would be fine." Even better when you immediately hand her a pre-printed piece of paper with his account information.

…you scream "NOOO! DON'T DO IT! when you see the people about to do a debt CONsolidation on a TV commercial.

…you rinse out a sandwich bag for reuse.

…you think "I wonder if there's a way to reuse toilet paper."

…your children run and hide in a panic when you ask them "I wonder what I can sell on Ebay Now?"

…you feel good about paying a student loan off early at 1.875% interest, instead of investing that in mutual funds at 12%.

…the girl behind the register asks you "Credit or Debit," and you snap back at her without thinking "I don't have a stinking credit card... do I look stupid?"

…you see other people who are driving nice brand new expensive cars who think they have it all when you know how wrong they really are. (unless they paid cash for it, which I highly doubt)

…you're snowball is made of chips of plastic, checks, coins, and currency, instead of ice and water.

…you do a cost per pound analysis on the tomatoes from your garden.

…you've cut your dryer sheets in half to get double the use per box.

…your teen daughter preaches to her friends the dangers of credit cards.

…your hubbies millionaire boss is impressed while his broke co-workers are making fun of him.

…you've cut your own hair to avoid paying a hairstylist (just this past evening).

…you've filled up on leftover hamburger helper before going out with friends and only ordering iced tea.

... your mom feels bad for your rice and beans diet that she brings you groceries every time she comes over.

... you have your son's first birthday party at home, with homemade food and a homemade cake, instead of one of those party places with a store-bought cake, like you did your other son's birthday party.

... your husband keeps trying to talk you into getting a new van, but you have the nerve to tell him maybe after the debt snowball, but for now, would he please just fix the durn thing?

... your kids ask for store-bought waffles or some other convenience food, and get a five minute lecture on how much cheaper and healthier it is to eat it cooked from scratch. feel sorry for your friend when she goes on a shopping spree, instead of jealous.

…you ask to purchase a cell phone battery because yours is not charging and the sales person behind the counter says it is cheaper to upgrade the phone to a new one ... and you look at her and think has she lost her mind.

…your family believes that you have lost your marbles and says things to you like but you can afford it dear...and it will make you feel so much better.

…the internal temperature in the house is 62 degrees and you try to justify turning the thermostat down a little bit more to save on energy costs.

…you wear all your dry cleanables at least 2-3 times so you don't have to take them back to the cleaners yet.

…your 9 & 7 YO kids:
-yell at the infomercials on tv: "you just want our money! That stuff doesn't work!"
-ask you to set up a another savings fund because they want a [fill in the blank here]
-ask to go to the second hand shop to pick up some computer games
-believe in Santa because Mom & Dad would NEVER buy all that stuff!

…the co-workers in the cubicles around you begin to whisper about their new car purchases and leases, because they know they're about to get another Lecture on stupidity!

…you can listen to another channel during commercials and turn back to the Dave Ramsey Show at exactly the right time for the next segment.

…you clip coupons for $0.25 off at the $1.75 cleaners!

…you go shopping for a new purse, and it HAS TO BE a shape to work with your envelopes. rinse out a paper towel and lay it on the counter to dry for use again later.

…when you go to the bank the teller says "Oh, it must be allowance day."

…you call the bank to check a client's loan history and the teller who usually waits on you answers the phone and after hearing who are you says, "it's not time for your allowance yet."

…the teller who usually waits on you is busy but tells the teller helping you "She doesn't want an envelope, she has her own."

…you have a piece of paper taped down to your computer
desk to write down the exact hour/minute you left off while listening online. So you can find the right spot the next day when you listen again. So you don't miss a second of the show!

…you hear the beginning of Baker Street (the DR theme song) on the radio you get really disappointed that they play the whole song, and it's not followed by a DR segment.

…you calculate other people's stupid tax for them.

…your regular teller writes a note to the kids explaining that the computer was down and that mom really couldn’t fill the envelopes that day!

…YOU see THE NEW 2009 SUBURBAN with someone else driving it and start screaming...y’all have my debt payment!!!

…you have literally taped your debit cards in your wallet.

…your family is watching tv with a jacket on in the winter because your too cheap to turn the heat on.

…every time you are riding beside a brand new or really nice car, you say to yourself, 'Their Broke'....

…the thought of shopping for stuff you don't need makes you ill. move in with your in laws to save money. see furniture on the side of the road and you realize it's in better shape than your own. use credit cards and Satan in the same sentence. price compare thrift shops for the best bargain. still have money on your Christmas gift card cause you really really can't spend the money.

…you have Baker Street for a ring tone on your cell phone. the first sign of spring you start planning your garage sale.

…you enter a store and see no clearance racks and immediately walk out.

…you wait till your son is working at your favorite pizza joint to order because he gets a 30% employee discount (only when he is working)

…you waited to upgrade your TMMO to a yearly subscription until you were sure you would be receiving the brand new edition of the book instead of the old one.

…you can't wait until the show is over to download it onto your IPOD.

…you work at a dept store and another employee comes through your line and I ask "Will this be Associate Cash?" and they immediately go into an explanation about why it has to go on their dept store card.

…your sons ask for a ROTH IRA for Christmas!

...your unemployed EX spends $18.80 to Express mail your kid $10.00 cash in a card and some candy in a box. Your kid rolls his eyes and says "He could be using this money for groceries! What's wrong with him?”

…you re-arrange the books at the bookstore so DR books stand out the most!

…you make your own laundry soap for 3 cents per load and cannot keep from telling everyone you know how to do it themselves!!!

…you use vinegar for fabric softener and actually make people sniff your sleeve to prove to them that it actually works!

…you get up at 4-5am every morning (and don't have to) to pack your spouse's lunch so he won't eat out at fast food joints.

…you are excited at the opportunity to go grocery shopping and whip out the crazy envelope wallet in the hopes that it will spur a conversation with anyone about getting out of debt!!

…your dear husband actually calls you Dave. Tells the waitress at the restaurant to "give the bill to Dave" and points at you.

…you shed tears watching the baby gazelle escape the cheetah
"go baby go go go go go!" or even typing it.

…you see someone driving an economical 88 honda accord and you know that it has to be paid for and your are jealous...

…you can walk out of Home Depot for under $20 and paid for it with cash...

…you keep a budget on your fridge in your purse and on your mirror in the bathroom to remind you what you are trying to do!

…you can spend less than $3 dollars at Wendy's and feed two people.

…you decide Beano is too expensive for your rice and bean budget. ask your husband if he has gas and he thinks you are talking about gas due to the rice and bean budget instead of the car.

…when they were talking about making soap out of bathtub scum and you were thinking of credit card collector scum.

...your pets have their own envelope.

...dear husband is jealous because the pets used coupons, bought on sale, and had some money "left over" so they got to buy the pet toys they had their eyes on. are shopping for office supplies with the company credit card and still feel bad. are shopping for office supplies for work and can't bear to not compare prices, buy generic and get the very best deal. are eating off a card table because you would rather put your money toward a fully funded emergency fund.

...your mother-in-law writes a check at the bank for cash and puts it in an envelope, because you are with her buying holiday groceries.

...your friends who have been in FPU with you see you at the store and quickly pull out their envelopes and wave them at you as if you are the "Envelope Police." have change piles in different areas of your house. Waiting... waiting just in case you don't have enough money in your envelopes. But you never use it because you always make it to payday! have enough checks to last you three years, because you ordered them BDR (Before Dave Ramsey). know exactly what Dave is going to say to any question that is asked of him, and you can't help cringing... and snickering....knowing that they will be informed really soon!

…your 5&6 y.o. go around saying, "Credit cards are EVIL! Evil I tell ya" and your 2 y.o. follows them around saying, "Evil, Evil."

…your kids don't even bother asking for the toy anymore at McD's.

…you feel guilty for even going to McD's.

…your kids randomly say, "my dad's in Iraq making money because we're really poor" to strangers.

…you hear your kids talking about asking for something & one of them says, "You know we don't have money for that, but maybe we can ask mom if we can save up."

…you can recite Dave's opening at the beginning of every hour:
"Live from Financial Peace Plaza, it's The Dave Ramsey Show! Where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I am Dave Ramsey, your host, and this is the BEST is talkradio. Service oriented talkradio. Talkradio that matters. Talkradio about you and for you. [The rest varies]"

…you use crayons to color in squares, squares that represent money paid on a debt that's blown up and taped to your fridge. And you REALLY enjoy coloring in those squares!!'s a good thing to be awake in the middle of the night thinking about money. Not because you can't sleep from fear but because you can't sleep for thinking about what you can cut to pay off the debt sooner.

...a really NICE gift for Valentine's Day is a steak dinner. And you about die when you sink your teeth into that first bite because it's been a year and a half since you've had steak. sit here literally bawling your eyes out from happiness when you get a family member hooked on DR. think the best $100 you've ever spent is for 10 TMMO books that you hand out to friends and co-workers. If it changes even one family it was money well spent a hundred times over!

…your 10 yr. old tells you your "cheap".

…you see everyone around you in fancy cars and your first thought is "suckers".

…you see the "immigrants" driving some beat up car with 4 guys riding together and think that's really smart, good for them.

…your neighbor owns an $80K boat and is not satisfied and wants a $100K boat on his equity line and you feel sorry for him for not understanding this is debt.

…your 11 yr. understands that credit cards are a bad idea.

…your 11 yr. tells his younger brother he will help him when he's a millionaire since he's saving his money.

…your kids can tell their friends they have Money Market accts at a high yield.

…you have a panic attack when you see someone spend money on toothpaste, toothbrushes, shampoo, deodorant or aspirin.

…you catch yourself saying "what a rip-off" because a sale is only 75% off.

…you can repeat just about all of the commercials, and you can repeat word for word the disclaimer at the end of the show. "This program is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. This information is given with the understanding that neither the host nor this station is engaged in rendering legal, accounting or other professional advice. Since the details of your situation are fact dependent, you should additionally seek the services of a competent professional".

…your icon picture is an old picture of Dave!

…your 11 year old son can calculate the interest earned/paid on a specific dollar amount for a year, in his head.

…your 8 year old daughter gets teased at school for being poor and your family income is over 100K.

…your 8 year old daughter responds to being called poor by telling the person she's rich because her family loves and supports her.

…you hear of a friend getting a big settlement (100k) and the first thing out of your mouth is, "You had better be paying off debt!"

…your neighbor just bought a $35,000 SUV because they need more room now that they have a baby (whatever) and you know they look down their noses at our 10 year old paid for car and instead of feeling jealous of their new purchase you know that you really are the lucky ones because you will be debt free except the house by May! save over $70 on a hotel room and then refuse to spend an extra $10 to upgrade to a room with a view.

…you ask your child to help you think of a "you might be a Dave Ramsey fan if...." and he says..."I AM NOT A DAVE RAMSEY FAN"...where was that support group?

…you hear about someone winning a large sum of money and you think about how much debt you could pay off if you had won it.

…you hear about someone winning a large sum of money and you think about how you could have an FFEF if you had won it.

…you hear about someone winning a large sum of money and you think of all the ways you would invest it.

…your idea of a big Friday night date with your spouse is sitting reading blogs of other Dave Ramsey fans… and having a blast because we see ourselves.

…your 6 year old asks you if we're debt free yet

…you over hear your six year old telling grandma "when we're debt free" I'm getting such and such

…you ask your 15 year Daughter old to grab that cd' out of the burner (of the Ramsey show) so you can listen to it on the way to work and when you go to put it in the car you realize she has titled the disc... "oh Crap" its dave again!!!!

…you get the kids a new puppy and you name Him Murphy/ Ramsey
and the goldfish are named Broke, Desperate and stupid.

…you find yourself jackknifed in a trailer park because the beater that you just bought had to be towed with a car dolly.

…your coworkers start answering their own question: "I know ... better than you deserve" just after they asked the question "How are you?" .

…it makes you cringe to say "credit" when using your check card, when asked "Debit or credit?"

…you ask for an estimate at the veterinary office during an emergency visit, before deciding what you can afford that day, because you already depleted your baby emergency fund for an emergency dental visit for yourself.

…you delay necessary dental procedures until the money you paid for the last medical visit/dental procedure has cleared your insurance, flexible spending account and been reimbursed back into your account.

…your "blow money" envelope is only $10 to $20 per week, and that is used on groceries, making you realize that you need to increase your grocery cash envelope and decrease some other category.

…you pay certain people in cash just because they take so long to deposit your checks that it takes longer for you to balance your checkbook.

…you turn down invitations to lunch, etc. because it is "not in the budget".

…instead of giving people towels, etc. that they asked for, for their wedding, you give them Dave Ramsey books (all 10, which includes the two Spanish ones and the three workbooks, if you are feeling generous), because you want to make absolutely sure that they are on the same page with their money going into their marriage.

…you ask "How much" instead of "How much down? or "How much per month?".

…you have a lot of Dave Ramsey "isms" playing a tape in your head, and find yourself repeating them (or at least wanting to repeat them) as soon as someone starts to even suggest the idea of doing something unwise/ill-advised with money.

…your then 9 year old daughter graciously receives a gift card from her Aunt and then discreetly whispers in your ear, "Is this debt?"

…you have to tell the bank teller the number of each specific denomination you need when you get your cash so it will be easily split between your 7 envelopes AND so the 3 kids on commission who need to be paid in all ones can easily split their commission for their OWN envelopes.

…you live without a working oven for 7 months so you can save for the replacement all the while mastering the art of baking on the top rack of your gas grill.

...your 10 year olds 1 year old bike suddenly has new life when she is told she will have to replace it with her own money since she has not outgrown it, if she no longer "likes" it.

…"freeeeedom" is no longer thought of as a phrase from Braveheart, but rather a signal that someone is debt free.

…you read ten pages of posts.

…you cringe while the in-laws explain the benefits of getting down to two credit cards (his and hers!) when you try to get them on the Dave Ramsey bandwagon.

…the tellers at your bank keeps track of where you are in line and pace their work to try to get you to use another teller; all because they know you'll be overloading them with requests for strange combinations of various monetary denominations to put in your dozen envelopes.

…you give your 8year old son a quarter for him to pay for a small notebook and when you ask for the change he says it was his money.(no pockets -drops coins twice in the walk over to me) I explain that it was my quarter that he paid for the book with... Then in front of the check-out he screams "But that is BORROWING you are NOT suppose to borrow". (coins go in bag with book)

…you would rather learn how to sew a slip cover than to spend money on a new couch watch other people go out for lunch during work and feel bad for them plan camping vacations months in advance, not to make sure you can get the time off but so it doesn't throw your budget off.

…you begin referring to yourself as the "King of cheap Saturday" know, walks in the park, making sandwiches, free movies at the town plaza.

…you felt bad for whomever brought their brand-new Chrysler Minivan to the Dallas Live Event (complete with window sticker). Talk about putting a damper on the day!

…the van breaks down and you think, "Is this REALLY an emergency, I could just walk to work for the next month. It's only a couple miles." because you don't want to disturb the BEF. dreamed you were delivering pizza and you showed up at Dave's house... and you live in Illinois...

…you look forward to Monday because it's Military discount day at the thrift store!

…you get back from eating out and figure that the one hour lunch away from work cost $8.25, 2 Arby's meals bought with coupons cost $8.66= Total cost $16.91!!!! ARGH- Could have brought PB & J!

…you associate "Another One Bites the Dust" with plasectomy. actually know what a plasectomy is.

…after breaking your little toe, you ask your husband, (while crying from the pain) to check with the Urgent Care Center to see if they are cheaper than the emergency room at the hospital.

…you give your 2-year-old and 4-year-old pennies to throw in the fountain and then feel immediate remorse for it because you could have saved those pennies and contributed to another cash envelope.

…you use cash and think about how weird that is to be doing that.

…you take off the labels off tin cans and use them for writing paper to save money.

…you overhear your 9 year old and 7 year old sons discussing a lost toy and accusing mom of selling it on e-bay.

…you spend hours, literally, making out weekly menu's based on sale papers.

…you cut off your hair to save on shampoo & conditioner.

…someone asks your kids what flavor kool aid they drink at your home and they say, "Dave Ramsey."

…you're mother looks at you like you're insane because you make $105,000 a year and you brag about a bag of socks you were lucky enough to snag at a flea market.'re family refers to you as "Dave Jr."

…you run out of deposit slips long before you run out of checks in your checking account!

…your toes are hanging off the end of your sandals because you won't get another pair until payday, only if they are in the budget, and only if they are on sale, and only if you pay cash.

…the highlight of your trip to the grocery store is reading the total savings on the receipt when you leave the store.

…your teens are embarrassed to go with you to the store because their friend works there and they know you're going to be pulling out a wad of coupons at the checkout.

…you have a nervous breakdown if you misplace your coupons.

…you contemplate how much toilet paper your family uses a day and think maybe you should have them count squares.

…you log on to My Total Money Makeover and Dave's speech starts, your six year old screams "I LOVE that guy!"

…you think about Christmas coming up in 4 months, and you know that you cannot afford it this year. You tell your kids "Christmas is a craft"!

…you tell your 17 year old daughter that she/we will not be borrowing money to send her to college. If she wants to go someplace expensive, she's got to look into scholarships!

…you actually get why these sayings are funny!

…you rent an apartment where the bedroom is the same as the living room and your bathroom door will only open partially due to the couch being in the way.

…you and your hubbie think that a 'hot' date is a trip to McD's for their 50 cent ice cream cones. go to the local grocery store and actually enjoy doing the "self checkout" and filling it full of change like a slot machine (from what you found in your car).

…you ask they pizza guy how he is and hope he says "Better than I deserve" so you can give him an extra $20.

…you get a light blue "Debt Free and Lovin' It" sticker from Dave Ramsey for doing a debt free scream and although you drive a red truck and it looks ridiculous you put it on anyway. You figure..."Hey, maybe it'll get more attention this way."

…you fantasize about the day you'll be able to scream "I'M DEBT FREE!!!"

…you and your spouse exchange the SAME Christmas card back and forth to save money.

…you go to a Live Event and start laughing at the joke before Dave gets to the punch line.

…you have "Dave" so engrained in your head that you don't realize that everyone does not know who Dave is.

…your 5 year old tells someone (a perfect stranger) "we are going to buy an RV after we are debt free"

…the bank teller says we must be doing something right because we make so many deposits

…you have to write out a check and have to pause to think HOW because it's been so long

…you seriously consider the long term savings versus the expense of a bidet or TP

…you consider a pbj a GOOD lunch as opposed to just pb

…you can't enjoy a party because you keep thinking how much the hosts spent to pull it off--and probably on a cc

…you find yourself randomly wondering HOW to save $ on feminine monthly products.

…no matter how stoic you are, tears form in your eyes when you hear someone scream "I'M DEBT FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"

…you tell your wife you don't see any reason to go shopping, you already have a black pair of pants.

…your mom calls to say she is going on a trip this weekend to try out their new $25,000 travel trailer, your initial thought is "You have more debt than I do!" And want to ask if they paid cash for it. But think better of saying anything...

…you have gotten to the point you have eaten so much Top Ramen that you pretty much hate it... and continue to eat it anyways (the new ALPO diet. 66 ways to eat Top Ramen...)

…you just finished that quote. think all these things are funny and awesome instead of down right pathetic.

…you stand in line and check out the person at the register, if they are pulling cash or credit. If cash, you wonder if they know about Dave Ramsey.


Amber said...

OK! Ok. Let me go dig out my copy of his book.

Any tips for getting the hubbs to follow along?

Kim D said...

haha! No tips as of yet... I'm still working on mine.. although he is all for it - he has put blind faith and trust in me that I can work the program out for both of us... He just says "tell me what to do - and I will do it!"

Though sometimes he doesn't get the process of the system - Even though he will do what I tell him to do - he will question me on why...and though I explain the details of the book, sometimes he just doesn't understand why things have to be done this one way or the other.. but he trusts me and does it...

I tell him - if you have questions, read the book! - that is only because he refuses to read the book. (he hates reading - the one and only book he reads is the Bible - so i can't complain there!)

I guess Just tell him to trust you and that even though it might seem like a lot of hard work - it will definitely PAY off in the end!! ;o)

I think eventually when the light bulbs go off in their heads - and once they "get" it- they are more intense than you will be!